Adventure Overview:
Welcome to Barovia: the land of mists, despair… and untapped business opportunities. Strahd von Zarovich may rule Barovia with an iron grip, but his dominance has left a vacuum in one crucial sector—corporate competition. Enter the players, representatives of an Acquisitions Incorporated franchise, tasked with setting up shop and expanding the AI brand in the land of perpetual dread.
Of course, Barovia is no ordinary business environment. Between Strahd’s tyranny, the ever-present undead, and the stubborn, fearful locals, the players must navigate deadly challenges as they build their business, turning a cursed land into a somewhat profitable one. However, their efforts inadvertently awaken an ancient, eldritch force that slumbers beneath the land, one that seeks to become the true CEO of Barovia.
Adventure Hooks:
- Corporate Directive: Omin Dran himself (or his proxy) tasks the franchise with expanding Acquisitions Incorporated into Barovia, explaining that the land’s isolation has resulted in a lack of magical item procurement, adventurer-related services, and fine franchising opportunities. “Nobody’s cracked this market,” Omin says, ominously, “because it’s cursed. That’s where you come in.”
- Mysterious Client: A “potential client” (in reality, one of Strahd’s spies) contacts the party, offering them a chance to enter Barovia under the pretense of acquiring a rare artifact. In truth, Strahd allows the party in because he is intrigued by the concept of a “corporation” and wishes to see how it operates.
- The Artifact: The franchise’s Head Office learns of a unique Barovian artifact, The Ledger of Eternal Contracts, said to grant its owner the ability to create unbreakable deals—even with extraplanar entities. Omin Dran insists on recovering this item to increase AI’s negotiating power. Unfortunately, the artifact is bound to an ancient force locked beneath Barovia, and freeing it could threaten the entire land.
Setting: Corporate Expansion in Barovia
The players will explore Barovia as would-be entrepreneurs trying to establish an Acquisitions Incorporated franchise in a world devoid of hope, happiness, or customer satisfaction. The adventure focuses on both traditional exploration and Acquisitions Incorporated-style corporate antics, as the party tries to gain allies, procure resources, and avoid angering Strahd too much.
Key Locations:
- Village of Barovia: The players can set up their corporate headquarters here, perhaps transforming an abandoned tavern into a Field Office of Franchising. The locals, however, are less than thrilled by their arrival.
- The Vistani Encampment: The Vistani are curious about the players’ corporate mission and may offer to “help” them expand in exchange for a cut of their profits.
- Castle Ravenloft: Strahd, ever the enigmatic host, watches the party’s progress with bemused interest. He may even invite them to a “corporate summit” in the castle to discuss “business synergy.” (Translation: he’s deciding whether to let them live or turn them into undead middle management.)
- The Shadow Vault: A newly revealed location in Barovia, hidden deep within the mists, where the artifact—the Ledger of Eternal Contracts—is kept. It is guarded by an ancient entity with its own ambitions.
Key NPCs:
- Strahd von Zarovich: The vampire lord is fascinated by the concept of a corporate hierarchy. He may feign interest in the party’s franchise, testing their worthiness by sending them on increasingly dangerous “business challenges.”
- Madam Eva: The Vistani seer sees the players as fools meddling in forces they don’t understand. She offers cryptic advice about the Ledger of Eternal Contracts, warning them that “even the Devil Strahd is but a pawn to what you seek.”
- Seraphine Dran: A Head Office executive (and distant Dran relative) tasked with “evaluating” the franchise’s success. She appears in astral form to issue demands, berate the party, and threaten to revoke their charter if profits don’t meet projections.
- The Auditor: A mysterious, shadowy figure sent by Strahd to monitor the franchise’s progress. The players initially believe he is a local ally but later discover he is Strahd’s spy—or worse, a servant of the ancient force beneath Barovia.
Act 1: Setting Up Shop
The adventure begins with the party arriving in Barovia through the mists, either via Vistani wagon or magical means. After a brief introduction to the oppressive land, they set up their franchise headquarters in the Village of Barovia. The players must:
- Convince the Locals: The villagers are terrified of Strahd and hesitant to support any new venture. The players must use charm, intimidation, or creative solutions to gain their trust—or at least their business.
- Secure Resources: Establishing a business in Barovia isn’t easy. The players must procure materials (likely requiring trips to dangerous locations), hire staff (probably undead or desperate peasants), and deal with competitors (a local necromancer running an “adventurer-for-hire” scam).
- Avoid Strahd’s Wrath: As the party expands its influence, they draw the attention of Strahd. He may send agents to test their strength, sabotage their efforts, or simply invite them to Castle Ravenloft to “discuss terms.”
Act 2: The Ledger of Eternal Contracts
As the party’s franchise grows, they uncover clues about the Ledger of Eternal Contracts—an artifact with the power to bind even the most powerful entities to its wielder’s will. Madam Eva warns them that while the Ledger could be a powerful asset for Acquisitions Incorporated, it is cursed and tied to an ancient force that Strahd himself fears.
Key Events:
- The Vistani’s Warning: The players must navigate tense negotiations with the Vistani, who hold vital information about the Ledger’s location but demand a steep price for their assistance.
- Strahd’s Games: Strahd offers to “partner” with the franchise, promising safety in exchange for access to the Ledger. However, his motives are far from altruistic, and any deal with him is fraught with peril.
- The Shadow Vault: The players discover the entrance to the Shadow Vault, a hidden dungeon filled with traps, puzzles, and shadowy creatures. At its heart lies the Ledger—and its guardian, an ancient, eldritch entity known as The Profiteer.
Act 3: The Profiteer Awakens
The Profiteer, an ancient entity of greed and domination, was sealed away centuries ago by Strahd’s ancestors. It represents unchecked ambition, a dark reflection of Acquisitions Incorporated’s own corporate ethos. When the players take the Ledger, the Profiteer awakens, threatening to consume Barovia and the players’ franchise unless they can stop it.
Final Encounter:
- The Profiteer: A massive, shadowy figure with the ability to manifest corporate metaphors as physical attacks (e.g., “hostile takeover” grapples, “downsizing” necrotic blasts). The players must use both combat and clever tactics to bind the Profiteer back into the Ledger.
- Strahd’s Role: Strahd may intervene, either as an uneasy ally or an opportunistic foe, depending on how the players handled their earlier interactions with him.
Conclusion:
- Success: The Profiteer is sealed, and the players return to their franchise with the Ledger. Acquisitions Incorporated praises their efforts, though Omin Dran warns them never to use the artifact without strict oversight.
- Failure: The Profiteer escapes, consuming the players, their franchise, and potentially Barovia itself. Strahd watches from afar, bemused but strangely impressed by the players’ audacity.
This adventure blends the dark, gothic horror of Curse of Strahd with the absurd, corporate humor of Acquisitions Incorporated, offering players a unique mix of high stakes and comedic roleplay.